yamanai ame da neeee

Thursday, April 27, 2006

hi people..
There's alot of work to be done tonight and i want to watch Lost.. :(
Shit man.. Can't stand being addicted to a show lah.. hahah... it tears me apart to miss it but if i watch i'll feel so bad!
Lost? or GP?
Hahhaa.. whatever lah.. later then see how.

Anw, today was a not bad day I guess..
Can't really remember alr lah..
Oh.. chinese teacher nvr come! so we had free period which I totally wasted doing nothing..
Maths was ok.. i finally understand smth aft like.. 7 chapters of blur?
Econs was fine lah.. but i was damn bored so I wrote on the table haha...
oops.
I wrote the entire 'when you say nothing at all' there..
Hope no one will erase it.. very nice loh!
played bluff during ILT.. i suck at bluff can..
Hahah.. they say i can't lie.
Which is not neccessarily a bad thing. sort of.
heh heh.
Pe. Everyone's timing deproved..
I swear its the PI lah.. everyone's exhausted.
Mine deproved by 15 secs :(((((
napfa on tuesday leh.. howwww.

After that we went to spy on some people and aft that we went home!
Hahah..
I fell asleep on the bus lah.. and I think I either boarded the wrong bus in the first place, or i overslept really badly.
cause i ended up at this weirdo place!
I ended up walking for 30 minutes THEN i reached home.
HM.. then yup.. been sleeping until now.
ok think i better go now.
work work work!

-~~PI drafttwo~~
-GP essay [die. toulmin model?! :/ ]
-~~Econs transport worksheet~~ i give up. dunno how to do anw.
-Lit PC
-Maths assignment 7
-Maths tut 8 [if only i knew how.]
-~~Geog file~~
-~~Geog tut~~

8:36 PM

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Aye matong! I miss 4u terribly too!
Unity is Love. :)
I see Dania, Xiaorong, Winnie and Wendy!
Hahaha and I see Dania's guitar...
And I see my table!!
Think it's the one with the green tea bottle cause I remb I sit behind Winnie..
Hahaha and it's so messy lah.. so confirm its that one one...
On the board is PROBABILITY.
OH mannnnn I miss Emaths.
I miss Clemmy! :(
Wonder when I can get over it.
I guess it's not gonna be happening anytime soon.

I just typed this super long post and now its..
GONE.
WTF........ Ass lah.
Ok so I'm typing on Microsoft just to be safe.
Damn it lah.. lazy alr loh.

Haha.. ok camp.
It was great! Had a lot of fun.. except for the high elements :(
Can no longer remember all the hazy details...
But hahah i remember this...
RASALAS WON!!!!
YAY. So shuang now can..
Our flag is hanging high and proud.. cool man. I love it.

Saturday.. Went out with celebs..
It was nice nice nice...
But Eunice and Matong didn't go...
Oh well.. we celebrated jen's bday..
Hahaha in swensons there were sooo many grps of ppl celebrating ppl one after another it was funny lah!
Yay.. sn sportsday this coming Friday...
TWO MORE DAYS.
HURRY COME PLEASEEEE.
I miss stnicks.

Today.. school was ok.
I can't stand Siva. Still.
How can someone think she's so funny when her humour is just ...
Not funny.
Omg lah... arghhh.
Hahah ok then we had odac..
Was quite fun.. we were doing some quartermastering stuff..
Counting the items..
Then there were things like '1 candle' and '4 mops and 1 with no stick'
Hahah.. whats this lah..
I wish we had our own room.. then we can keep our things properly..
Can have a space to sit and crap.

Ok yeah as you can see my internet connection is BACK!
After alot alot of days... finally.
So now I'm trying to catch up with all my work...
PI drafttwo. Lit PC.. GP essay.. my long long overdue geog assignment.
Everything on Friday lah. Tml no need to sleep alr.
Anw just now I was researching fopr GP so I typed 'the role of a father in parenting'
And out came 'how to go about...' '10 things to do..'
I dunno but isn't it kinda sad that stuff like parenting can be read off the internet?
That parents need the help of guide books and instructions to learn how to teach their child?
Have we lost our most basic of instincts on parenting?

Oh yah how ah..
I'm seriously losing track of my work and im falling behind pretty bad.
Shouldn’t have changed combi.
That is so far the biggest and most significant regret in my life lah...
Anw, I used to feel I'm not up for jc..
Now ~~I think~~..
I know I'm not.

10:17 PM

Monday, April 17, 2006

This is frustrating.
Really really its getting to me bad.
Why?
why does everyone forget?
why does no one care?
I've never felt so alone in my life.
Being surrounded by people just makes everything worst.
You get what I mean?
I can't comprehend all these things thats happening to me.
why???? ARGHHHH..
Feel so depressed now lah..
so...
abandoned.
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I HATE LIFE/

why...?
someone tell me.

8:24 PM

Friday, April 14, 2006

Hai.. I suspect so.
Somebody with a brain and mouth like mine,
I knew it would happen one day..
I shall set myself a goal..
Hahah.. but I can't say what :)
Cause then it wouldn't work!
Hai... as the chinese saying goes..
Disaster comes from the mouth...
damn it.. I hate not being able to control myself!
I realise that all successful people knows how to control themselves to keep their own opinions to themselves.
SO. yes.. I have decided.

I hope we can make it tml...
Miss clelebs alot alot alot..

I MISS THEM LAH. AHHH...
Hahha.. these crap pictures just makes up our lives.
Hence, our name. :)

11:39 AM

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

This is karma.
I got into that crap ass broadcast thing also lah..
I thought that women will think I've got a bad attitude and just like not pick me..
but ALAS.
It is not to be.
Shouldn't have laughed at Amanda, seriously.
Hai.. who ask me, voice too nice..
HAHAH.. right.
oh welll.

Anw,
I need a study session.
With someone. anyone.
A proper, good one.
I NEED SOMEONE TO TEACH ME MATHS.
Save me lah i'm drowning in foreign ~~bits~~ chunks of info i don't understand.

Edmund's last day tml.
Damn sad...
But at least he's still in S'pore lah.
Thats a consolation I guess...
Wish him all the best loh..

Today we ran 4 rds for pe..
my muscles are damn tight now..
just now I was just like fidgeting ard then all of a suddenly my calf CRAMP.
Wts lah..
I didn't know that was possible.
Anw, bet I'll have muscle ach tml..
hope and pray that there's no odac....

the world seems to have forgotten about me.

10:23 PM

Monday, April 10, 2006

Today was a good day..
Everything basically went well I guess..
except for the fact that I COULDN'T FINISH MY HOMEWORK.
But like thats anything new lah.

Oh yeah yeah...
now I remember smth bad that happened.
COP discussions were pretty bad...
could feel the hostility hanging thick in the air mann.
Why ah.. haii...
Why can't our class cooperate??
Why must there always be people who has to put up this horribly black face and an attitude that really stinks????
WHY......
Our class will never become close ever.
Hai.. then we were talking abt transfering back to 41B..
really miss them lah..
Always see them eating together make me so jealous :(
I even don't mind going to 41A..
got Siying. and the Jacinda girl.. hahaah..
I JUST WANNA LEAVE 33A!!!!!

Forgive my bawling.
But I don't think I can take it for long if the situation doesn't improve soon..
sucks shit lah.

Maybe the fact that our class hardly meets each other in a day is a blessing.
That way I can have more good days.

7:15 PM

Friday, April 07, 2006

Today I am proud of myself.
Hah.

Listening to Defying Gravity,
'Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap...
.
.
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me!

Tell them how I am defying gravity
I'm flying high, defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown......'

Sick of playing by the rules of someone elses game..
hahah.. yes yes.
Doing things alone may not be such a bad thing afterall!
Like Elphie said, a least she's flying free.
Ain't she inspiring!
You know, I realise that although compromising is part and parcel of life,
no one should lose themselves because they are too caught up in fulfilling the wants of others.

Selfish?
I think not.

Today I have finally learnt to really do things by myself,
it wasn't easy to walk away.
But by walking away, I learnt something no one can teach me..
except myself.
I think there's no better time to learnt then now..
actually there's no best time lah.. everytime is a good time I guess.
I'm not trying to imply anything bad..
but I just feel that today I've been taught a very very good lesson.
Maybe stress brings out a few things in me I've never seen before,
independence, for one.

However, back to the down side,
walking away like that today might just carry it's consequences.
I won't know.
I don't know.
Don't really wanna know actually. Haha..
Many many thoughts were going through my mind while I was sitting there alone.
Felt so insecure and all that shit..
Felt like everyone was staring. Haha.. oh man..
But well, it's a first step...
Maybe it'll get better.
maybe.
Omg.. I'm such a loser.
so no confidence.. hai...
IF ONLY I COULD BE MORE CONFIDENT OF MYSELF.
if only.. if only....

9:06 PM

Thursday, April 06, 2006

ALOT OF WORK....
I'M SO STRESSED.
CANNOT HANDLE......!

9:00 PM

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Hey people i'm glad you guys enjoyed our little Aprils Fools Joke..
Brings some laughter into our, sadly, boring lives. :)

I heard it was sooo real people were thinking
'How come the picture take in secret still can so close up one??'
Hahahaha...
Josh Hartnett attracted all their attention they didn't notice those words on the pic!
High five MATONG!
we did well :))))
can't help but elaborate on our success.
hahaha!
oh yah and there were people who got tricked and didn't tag loh!
Hahah.. YAY.

Ok lah don't irritate you all already..
Tell you all how i REALLY spent my Sat..
I went to the HOLLABACK CREW with AIXIN!
It was greattttt.
Seriously some of them were damn freaking good..
There was this team that set themselves up 24 hrs before the first auditions...
They were all like random people so they don't represent any organisation..
so actually they don't have any supporters lah.
But they got the crowd to high with them ok!
Somemore they're the last team to perform so everyone was tired and since crowd support was counted ppl didnt want to scream for ppl not from their school!
SO they were damn pro lah..
Everyone was qt high..
Street Fusion you guys are seriously good!
Hahah they can dance damn well.
Very impressive.

Hahah.. Stnicks wasn't bad either..
the lead very cute lah..
ahha was laughing at her all the way..
and i think we must have done the best for the crowd support thing..
cause sooo many sn ppl there screaming. HAHA!
The power of SN girls :)
Innova's was ok lah..
not bad.

Today we had ODAC orientation..
it wasn't bad..
but i was very very happy with my run..
I know to most people its really bad, but to me its pretty damn good.
People who meet me must praise me ok!
:)
Hhaha..
hm.. what else..
OH YESSS...
how can i forget??
I HATE SIVA. ASS LAHHH.....!

ANW,
My pile of homework is increasing at an alarming rate.
and i'm supposed to be researching for lit now.
BUT WHAT AM I DOING?
I dunno.
ahhhh...
Still got pw.
got Econs test
geog
maths
chinese speech
and i dunno what other shit lah.
HAI.
AND i haven't finish reading The Guide..
at the rate i'm reading..
I'll be taking eons to finish
Like read read... droops to sleep.. wakes to read for 5 min.. and sleep again!
HAIIIIIIIIIIIII////

And after talking to Aixin on saturday..
this has became my favourite poem.

Love After Love

The time will come,

when,with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror.

And each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again this stranger who is your self.

Give wine. Give bread.Give back your heart

to itself,to this stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, but who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life

-Derek Walcott

I long for that time to come.

ODAC seems to have become a clash of 2 different lives..

hai..

thats so shit.

9:06 PM

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Had so much fun!
Me and Matong met up for awhile for coffee..
talked about so many things lah..
should do it more often.. haha..

arghhhh..
hahah sorry i can't believe i'm saying this..
but ah!!! I wanna die already..
Just now when we were at coffeebean..
ahahah... there was this guy there :)))))
i think he's around 20..
I SWEAR HE IS THE MOST GOODLOOKING GUY I EVER SAW IN SINGAPORE.
omg lah...
Maybe he's abit ang moh mixed..
shit this is so embarrassing..
but my heart skipped a thousand beats when i saw him.
Like slightly brownish hair.. messy messy one. arghhh!
His features are damn nice also lah..
and his eyes.
omg.. so...
brown.
ahhhhhhhhhhhh///
think i'm going mad already.
and then you wouldn't believe what happened ok..
he looked at us :))))
BUT.
matong i'm so so sure he did that..
He smiled at you lah!
:((((((
wth man...
seriously i was quite dissappointed.. hai..
so sad lah..
hm.. yes anw.
after staring for quite a long time.. [us staring at him]
i think he realises lah.
and then [i tell you i almost died from heart failure]
omg..
he came over.!!
and asked for matong's number.

i quote. i still rmb every word ok.
'Hey, I think you're really cute can I have your number? I mean.. i saw you looking.. so...'
OMG.
I couldnt believe it..
I was like..
omgomgomg in my mind?
cld see matong didn't expect it.. but i guess i sorta did.
But arghhh he was really damn cute.. cause he had that shy look..
my shit lah.. i wanted to kill myself can.

AIYAH
I don't wanna talk about it anymore..
feel so...
empty.

just to let you all see the guy that made me mad.. [took it in secret.. hope he didnt see!!]
here it is..

9:39 AM